Insomnia


I can’t even remember the last time I blogged something that wasn’t mostly just inane re-posting. I’m tired but I can’t go to sleep yet, and I seem to have outlasted everyone else. Not hard when most of your friends live in a time zone 5 hours ahead of you. Really though, what would I do without the internet?

Being back home has finally reduced from every-moment-is-excruciating to this-is-the-sound-of-settling. Without the oddly upbeat chirps of Ben Gibbard. I’m starting to get comfortable here, but it mostly feels like giving up. There’s been 4, no, I’ll separate that into 4.5 different versions of my life. The Beginning, Pittsburgh, London, Tour, London 2.0 (the part that only counts half, “Can you see your name on that list, Laura?”). Now I’m moving into version 5 and I’ve already dubbed it ‘The Dark Ages’ or ‘Open Bar At the Self Pity Party’.

I’m all for making new friends, but I’m still fighting it. Still pissed off that I can’t just see the people I want any old time because of government fucking paperwork, and the friends without legal barriers are either always on tour or, well, done that whole living their lives for years without me thing. You can never go home, right? Probably just me being neurotic, but I’m good at it. Stick with what you’re good at. I’m still not sure where I want to live, but letting employment determine that seems like a cop out/win situation. The current palpability of loneliness is physically exhausting, despite almost constant interaction in some form. This is what scares me most.

I interviewed today for a position as a ‘Graphic Artist’ with a wall decor company. Not glamorous, but there’s a decent chance I’ll get it, I’ll get paid decently for the first time in my life, and I’ll get good experience with professional printing. Now that I’ve said that, I’ll fail my skills test. Probably not, actually, Photoshop is my bitch, and it’s not like InDesign is brain surgery. Tomorrow after Ikea with my mom (which will prove to be yet another exercise in patience) I’m gonna hang out with Tracy at her new(ish) tattoo studio. Apparently she’s been rallying to have them employ me in some capacity since the Lush job dissolved into thin air, so maybe that’ll work as a back up or even a supplement to the other job. If I can’t have an active social life I can just be a workaholic and be loaded. As in rich, not drunk. Not anymore, the pain has subsided to the occasional dull throb which doesn’t need deadened with alcohol every minute. Progress!

I began the set up of my Etsy shop for Nobody’s Darling and got the first t-shirt design ordered from Commonwealth. Getting started is half the battle, the other half is split between being so overwhelmed with ideas I’ll accomplish nothing or lacking self-confidence enough to fuck it up later on. Hmm.

I’ve spent the last few days in the car lamenting not being home with my laptop to work on my book. The only thing better than reading one is writing one. The characters look and act however I want, reflect any person or experience I like, and do whatever I make them do. People I wish I knew can have conversations I’d like to have. This is one thing I’ve started that I’m positive I’ll finish.

In a recent conversation it was admitted to me that this person took little notice to lyrics, that they saw them as just part of the music. I couldn’t even imagine myself feeling like that, I’m pretty sure I would cease to exist.

I believe in desperate acts.

The kind that make me look stupid.


(Look like a fool)


Just keep reinventing myself.


It’s move or die.


(I change my form)


These days the people I love


are spread so far apart.


(All out of reach)


It’s a thin sheet


Across the face.


(Cover me now)

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Låt den rätte komma in

Courtney made me aware of this movie called ‘Let the Right One In’ from our IKEA producing friends the Swedes (hence the palest of pale blonde boy) and I am once again siked to be alive, and totally bummed I haven’t yet gotten to visit the country that produced my favorite designer knock off furniture, some awesome friends, and THIS. It looks amazing. Since I’ve seen Twilight twice already it will fill the vampire shaped hole in my heart that yearns for more immortal blood sucking action. Or any at all since Twilight was decidedly PG. Grrr, argh. It also seems to have the same vibe 30 Days of Night had, but with the potential to be way better.

I’m not so shallow as to NEED Robert Pattinson or Josh Hartnett or Brad Pitt in a vampire flick to make it worth watching, although it does help. Maybe they’ll be some hot older vampires to supplement the childhood sweethearts, just, you know, because. I guess if they’re all Swedes they’re bound to be hot anyway.

:Synopsis:

Oscar, an overlooked and bullied boy, finds love and revenge through Eli, a beautiful but peculiar girl who turns out to be a vampire.

A fragile, anxious boy, 12-year-old Oskar is regularly bullied by his stronger classmates but never strikes back. The lonely boy’s wish for a friend seems to come true when he meets Eli, also 12, who moves in next door to him with her father. A pale, serious young girl, she only comes out at night and doesn’t seem affected by the freezing temperatures. Coinciding with Eli’s arrival is a series of inexplicable disappearances and murders. One man is found tied to a tree, another frozen in the lake, a woman bitten in the neck. Blood seems to be the common denominator and for an introverted boy like Oskar, who is fascinated by gruesome stories, it doesn’t take long before he figures out that Eli is a vampire. But by now a subtle romance has blossomed between Oskar and Eli, and she gives him the strength to fight back against his aggressors. Oskar becomes increasingly aware of the tragic, inhuman dimension of Eli’s plight, but cannot bring himself to forsake her. Frozen forever in a twelve-year-old’s body, with all the burgeoning feelings and confused emotions of a young adolescent, Eli knows that she can only continue to live if she keeps on moving. But when Oskar faces his darkest hour, Eli returns to defend him the only way she can…

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Yay Nature: Cool Painted Branch

Apparently today is ‘I love Apartment Therapy’ Day for me.

Painted Branch.jpgWe saw this lovely branch accent piece while wondering through Kent Ct Antique dealer Marianne Stikas’ both at this past weekends Bedford NY Antique Show.

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Her gorgeous booth drew us in but it was this wonderful twisted vine branch painted the most gorgeous salmon color that really intrigued us. It reminded us of our past posts on a chain branch closet, a tree branch curtain rod and of course our leaning red branch on the cover of Apartment Therapy Presents: Real Homes, Real People, Hundreds of Design Solutions.

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We left with our DIY thinking caps firmly on, just thinking about the possibilities and colors we might use. Perhaps a nice little nature walk was in order – so we could do some raw material hunting…

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Three words: GIANT BUTTON PILLOWS!

hmhome2120108.jpg As we went to publish our post, we saw that AT:DC took a sneak peek at the brand new H&M Home lines earlier today, so we decided to turn our post into a survey on the subject. What do you think? Is there room for another low price retail giant in the home goods market? If they bring the home goods to the US, will you shop there?

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Shown above the jump: Nature Collection – Cream and Black, Line Drawings, Textural, Muji-esque

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Photos: Stefan Nilsson/H&M via Husmusen

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